My Silence and Solitude Experience

Before my retreat date arrived, God used the book that I’m currently reading to show me the words silence and solitude and surprisingly, also during Sunday online church.
And so, I’m curious about what God will gonna do for my upcoming retreat.

First, I arrived there where the weather was foggy and rainy.

Photo taken before I arrived at the venue.

As I evaluate my heart, it has a lot of questions, desires, and tiredness.


In this retreat, I am with some of the people with whom God allowed me to be involved since my college years.
During our college days together, we joined intercessions, united prayer meetings, kairos courses, etc.
And as years went by, we’re called to support each other ministry may it be in the field or as a sender.

On the first day of our retreat we’re instructed to be silent also in our rooms no talking unless the director will told us to talk. All of us was shocked! Of course, 3 days of no talking, Hehe.

During my second day, I appreciated the importance of reconnecting to nature.
And I asked God, can He search my heart? And He replied, can you seek Me first my child?
And I replied, Yes! God, I will.

For hours, I am under His presence. I allowed my self to savour the moment. The more my silence was longer, the more I heard His voice clearly.

This time, I appreciate the moment of silence. Even when I just wanted to walk in the field or listening to the birds, It’s already a prayer.

It’s my favorite place to talk to Him. Imagine I sit there and the Holy Spirit is by my side.

Yes, that was my experienced there and it was so amazing.

This was the top view from our room.

The more I savor the beauty of this flower.

The only bench were we could sit and think clearly.

A night before our last day, God told me to go to that field. He showed me to stand there and talk to Him.
On the last day of our retreat, a message shared by Pastor Clay was Genesis 22: 1-19.
So, after the message, I followed what God told me before my sleep, while I was in the field, I was just crying out of my depths to the depths of God.

And there, I offered my Isaac to God and set that free.

After that, I walked around that field and felt so at peace. I walked back to the entrance and as I checked my heart, I felt the peace and light also the place looked so shiny.

I underwent a spiritual direction with our director and His wife. Then, God told me that I have a big room now to nurture what He entrusted to me.
They celebrated with me because I am now in spiritual consolation. Yehey! to God be all the glory.

Holy Spirit did something that amazed me after my spiritual direction. And I kept it.

Also, Ate Joi gave a letter.

Yes! They are my ka- Silence Family.

Before our retreat ends, finally! we are allowed to talked.

All of us got given a chance to share our testimony. And what we discover? during in our silence we found a family.

All for the Glory of God!

As of now, I am continuing my silence in prayer and also, I am hearing His voice even more clearly.

My MAY Blooms

I thank God for the provisions and opportunities that He allows during this month. Unexpectedly amazing!

Each photo tells itself.

A photo collage of how important every people I meet in life or who are the people in your life.

God used them in order for me to grow in life.

My parents. They’re supporting me in my walk in the LORD. Already told them of what God wants from me. They maybe loud sometimes but God is doing something in their hearts that only God alone knows.

Cousins. All of us are eldest but I’m the eldest among us haha. Grateful to the blessings that God is pouring His blessings out into our hearts. We got even more closed to each other because God is working into our lives.

Connected by God and now growing the friendship uniquely and amazingly. We got an intimate retreat at the beach and God did a amazing inner healing to each one of us.

Surrounded with very humble people. They’re older than me Haha.. I thank God for this opportunity to be in the same table with them.

How God works in our lives? It’s through the people that He choose to be connected with us.

All Glory to God!

When God says NO (Sunday Message)

2 Corinthians 2:12 

Furthermore, when I came to Troas to preach Christ’s gospel, and a door was opened unto me of the Lord. 

  • God did open a door for me. 

2 Corinthians 2:13

I had no rest in my spirit, because I found not Titus my brother: but taking my leave of them, I went from thence into Macedonia.

  • I went inside into that door. The whole time I really didn’t feel at peace. 

So today, I decided to say NO and leave that door. And back to my orignal calling. 

”The Macedonian Calling in Acts 16:6-15.”

It is really the orignal calling that God revealed to me at first. 

And I felt heavy in my heart in few months. And know I realize it’s because of my disobedience into God’s Word. 

Before, I watched the sunday service of Skyline SIB Malaysia. This morning I prayed and meditated to what God wants me to do because yesterday I received a message through my devotional to let go and no to something that God didn’t called me to do. 

So, by courage and strength I talked to them explained why I won’t continue serving in that organization. 

And then, this Sunday message came and see the link below. 

God spoke to my heart directly. And what Ps Dr Chew preached this morning was for me with nothing less and nothing more. 

And now, I understand why God wants me to study Paul’s life.  

Then, I got 2 Corinthians 2:12-17. 

And now, I’m ready to that Macedonian calling with joy and peace into my heart. 

Obedience to the One Who Created us

How do you feel about the unknown? Or what’s next after your big decisions? Or would you step into the unknown without any directions?

Anyways, let me share with you my testimony. I am working in a huge private company for almost 4 years but God wants me to leave this company. At first, I felt hesitant because I don’t understand why because way back in 2018 I believe that this work is meant for me. So, to make the story short, I resigned from my work last 15th January. In my heart lots of unknowns, I am not so sure what’s next. But let’s see how God lead me to greater things.

And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you because you obey the voice of the LORD your GOD. Deuteronomy 28:2  

This verse strikes to my heart after I resigned from my previous work. Obeying God brings peace into my heart. No matter where God is going to take me I trust Him.

As this verse said, ‘’ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ‘’

So, I prayed and let God.

He revealed to me through my devotional that He wanted me to build my own business.  

I was like what? Can I do that? And How God?

God revealed to my heart that it was my dream ever since to build my own business as a mission. A business from Him. A business that He is the one who ordained.

And He corrected my heart with this verse.

‘’So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.’’ Genesis 1:27

As God appointed artisans in building the tabernacle, And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, to design artistic works, to work in gold, in silver, in bronze, in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of workmanship. Exodus 31:3-5

He created us. Everything that we have like my ability, talent, skills, wisdom, knowledge, etc. is created by Him. So, let’s trust His will and way.

Starting that day I never questioned my ability anymore and let go of any insecurities that surrounds my thoughts.

Glory to Him. After obeying Him and trusting His will. Now I started my own online shop. A shop that God ordained by His guide I am connected to the right people and at the right time.

For this is God, our God forever and ever. He will be our guide even to death. Psalm 48: 14

God comforts me that what is unknown to me is very clear to Him. He saw everything already. He knows what’s lies ahead of me.

And He said, ‘’My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest’’ Exodus 33:14

Hananel online shop will be launched next month. In my heart, God is the owner and I am His worker.

Hear my son, and be wise, and guide your heart in the way. Proverbs 23:12

What happens after July?

What happens to me after July?

They said that life must go on no matter what. Yes! This is true but how?

Last August, my grandmother died because of wounds in her eyes it became cancerous. The same month also my grandfather (grandma’s brother) died due to covid19-case. And last month my close relative Alita died also due to covid19-case. In expand of two months, my emotional, mental,physical, and spiritual went down.

 Due to that, I am not even willing to go to my work even thinking of resigning. Everything of me went down resulted to get sick.

 My quiet time with God got affected also, even with my other commitments and responsibilities got affected.  And it leads me to cry out to God everything and prayed to give me rest because I just can’t bear the pain. 

God answered my prayer I got more than two weeks of leave at work but I am sick. So, I got home quarantine as advised by the doctor.

Then, in my two weeks of pursuing God, I got healed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Everything that went down got healed and renewed.

In that two weeks, Holy Spirit talked to me about what happened after July.

‘’ And He said, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14 (NKJV)

Rest in God’s presence

 This kind of rest is just lying in your bed the whole day. Based on my experience, this rest is emerging my all into His presence. Praying, singing, reading, and meditating in His Word, and forgetting the things that make me worry. This moment is just between you and God.

Rest and see how God is faithful

So it says, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household (Acts 16:31). A promised that God uttered last September 2020 since then, in my mind and heart I don’t know how to share with them the ‘’good news’’ been praying, been declaring, and been rebuking strongholds into our family in Jesus Christ name, by sharing and showing the love of God to them and by the Holy Spirit’s yield.

God assured me that my late grandmother is in His hands now. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done or what I am or what she was before. God reminded me because He loves us. He loves us all. 

‘’For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life’’ John 3:16 (NKJV)

Moreover, my Aunt Mimi posted that the loss of my late grandmother brought grace and blessings to our family because her children receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. We may not understand always how God works in our lives. When trials come, something better or even best happens in return. We just have to trust His plan. God is awesome. He is amazing. God is faithful and good all the time.

All the glory and honor for Him alone.

I am so grateful to the people who kept interceding for the salvation of my whole family my disciples, my disciple group leader, and my friends. Also, to my Uncle Pastor Eric and his wife Aunt Estella who ministered and gave service in the last wake of my late grandmother. My adviser who is my soul sister/cousin/best friend/sister in Christ Debra planted a seed in my heart to disciple my family one at a time, and to the author of the book ‘’Love Your Enemy’’ Marcus Young it helped me in my journey to release forgiveness to my family.

So, after reaching my late grandma. I’m now moving to the next who is my mother.

Glory to God!

Rest and transformed life by Jesus Christ

‘’Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.’’ 2 Corinthians 5”17 (NKJV)

I grew up under the care of my late grandmother because my mother needed to work and aside from being the eldest granddaughter, I’m her favorite hehe the whole family knew that. Okay as I remember, I have had this kind of bad  behavior before. And during elementary to early high school time, I stole money from her wallet. My late grandmother witnessed that all and disciplined me not to do it again.

So let’s fast forward, I met Jesus Christ during my college years and He transformed my life then possibly my late grandma witnessed it. As a result, she trusted me with her money. She puts into my bank account all of it.

And then, for the 3 days of her wake funeral, I’ve been the one holding and budgeting the expenses. See? Only Jesus Christ can transform someone’s life.  Indeed, all of my family trusted me. All for the glory of God!

Rest and be renewed in His presence

‘’But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint’’ Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

Yes! Amen! My year is not that kind of easy but still, my heart remains at peace because of God. And now, I am ready to go back to work and my other commitments. I am not sick anymore. I am healed got an RT-PCR test for detecting the covid19 virus and it’s negative. And now, I am ready for the LORD. Honor and glory only belong to God.

(c) Photo from pinterest.com

How are you?

Hello, how are you?

Anyway, I haven’t written since my last post because I’ve been through a lot this time. And it’s hard because it’s a pandemic where everything is limited.

But hopefully, I could finish writing soon because God made everything into a testimony. I’m so excited to share it with you.

It’s a reminder that God is still working in our lives because He loves us.

As this verse says, ”And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (KJV)

During this time, let’s be anchored in the Word of God and rest in His presence. 

God Bless You!

Graciously Blessed!

God is so amazing!

Last month July 2021 I’ve celebrated my 27th birthday biologically and my 6th birthday as new creation where I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior and then, 3 years of working in GBPI a huge food manufacturing as a quality assurance senior staff.

As I’ve realized that days are fast approaching but our God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).  In my 27th year of existence, I’ve been through a lot in life and I’m so grateful for that.

It’s because God allows it to happen for me to be sharpened, to grow, to be mold and to become the woman that He wants me to be.

Next, 6th year of knowing that Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior but my journey within those years I got inconsistent in my faith and lost my relationship to God.

But God is God. He can do whatever He wants in my life. I fell and He picked me up. I disobeyed and was prideful but God loves me. He did everything for me to walk on the right path towards Him. God knows me and He loves me that’s why He disciplined me.

Hebrew 12: 5-6 (NIV) that “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

And then, 3 years as a quality assurance senior staff will most of you read my post last year that I got promoted. So thankful for this company also because I’ve learned a lot through online pieces of training, seminars, and implementing my learnings. I’ve grown so much in communicating and coordinating with my co-workers up to the top management.   

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Lastly is my family I’m so blessed that I celebrated life with them. But God is reminding me to start to disciple them. 

As God’s promise, they replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” Acts 16:31

Praying a lot for them and God is working even sometimes I don’t see it.

Every day we should celebrate in God’s presence to have a peace that can be found only in Jesus Christ.

Food are on the other table 😁
My beloved grandmother 💚🌱
Morning coffee and talks with my mom, dad and brother ☕❤️
My beloved cousin had a gender reveal and its a girl! Yeheey!

Glory to God! 🌱❤️

I, Isaac, take thee, Rebekah (favorite book)

“To the young woman I say, this is the moment in your life when he who is wooing you will be at his kindest. And if you do not see kindness in the man you are dating, beware! For the partnership you are looking for will be nourished and nurtured only on the basis of love that is not arrogant or prideful, but kind.
The first two clues to a godly marriage, parental counsel and the commitment of the will its flip side of kindness, “

  • Ravi Zacharias

I, Isaac, take thee, Rebekah (moving from romance to lasting love) written by: Ravi Zacharias.

I have had this book since 2017 and I didn’t finish reading it until this year, I intentionally told myself to read this book and finish it.
And by God’s grace, I’ve finished reading it. And my opinion about this book that now I understand why my previous relationships were failed. First, I wasn’t ready to be a wife. Second, I compromise a lot and third, I didn’t ask permission from my parents nor seek counsel, and most of all, I didn’t ask God.

Also, my mind and my heart opened to the reality of marriage. I thought before that marriage is just to walk down the aisle and to see the man standing waiting for you to arrive at the altar and forget the world.
I forgot the right process, I forgot my parents, my family, and my friends, even myself. I always choose shortcuts and because of that, I faced a lot of consequences and heartaches.
Thus, the unhealthy me will possibly have an unhealthy marriage.
Moreover, this book leads me to serve more God and to understand more His sovereignty. And to experience more of His grace and to be the woman that God wants me to be.
Then, as a single woman, I understand what does I Do mean and also, the risk of saying I Do if God is not in me and him.

Lastly, late Ravi shared also some of his marriage experiences together with his wife which I could say that there’s no perfect marriage but it will be stronger and lasting if it’s founded by God.

The Disciplinarians (Father’s Day Special)

I’m excited to write a topic for father’s day. So let’s start.

Mostly, people have only one earthly father right? But for me, I have three fathers.

I would say they are all disciplinarians. God used them as an instrument to mold me into someone that He wants me to be. They thought me a lot but these are the significant.

First is my Tito Jessie. He trained me on how to listen and obey instructions/command carefully, especially when it comes from my parents and elders. He also thought me that once I received the instruction, follow it without any further delay and without murmuring.

And not just that he also introduced me to music. He wants me to be a singer but sadly it didn’t happen.

But by God’s grace dancing is what I got.

I will be always being grateful for my Tito Jessie as Proverbs 13:1 (NKJV) says ‘’A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke’’. Let us all plant this in our hearts and be reminded to obey our parents.

Secondly is my Tatay Jacinto. Tatay is a filipino word for father. During my childhood years, he often discipline me with his rod. I didn’t understand it before why he spanked me with it. But now that I am growing older the more I understand that he loves me that much because Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV) says that he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

As I remember there is an important gift that my Tatay gave me and he doesn’t know about it. My tatay went to abroad to work in order to provide for us and sent me to one of the most prestigious university in the country. He didn’t know that because of that, I met someone during my stay at the university while pursuing my degree. That someone is Jesus Christ. I accepted Him as my Lord and Savoir in that university. 

And now, as my relationship with Jesus Christ is growing, He showed me the importance of discipling my family first as He promised so they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household ‘’ written in Acts 16:31.

My father together with my mother did not failed to provide for us with my brother.

Thirdly is my Uncle Popong. I witnessed how my uncle give time to his family. My uncle Popong is also a happy person because he is contented on having only what he needs. Bu his example I learned that time is very important in building relationship with family. I also learned to live within your means and be contented.

I am very grateful to share with you that recently my Uncle accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savoir. Glory to God!

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrew 12: 9-11 (NIV)

The most disciplinarian aside from our earthly father, is our Heavenly Father. He disciplines His children as it is written in Hebrew 12: 5-6 (NIV) that “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

He loves us unconditionally that’s why He bestow us these people in our lives to discipline us according to His will.

That’s why we have to appreciate our family and the people who surrounds you because they’re God’s instrument. We have to love them according to God’s love that is written in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 that Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

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