God’s voice is sweet and God’s grace is abundant

This is my other story.

Way back 2015, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. As a graduating college student in 2017, my spiritual life got challenged, on top of all other struggles I had in the other aspects of my life. Consequently, my perspective changed after college. I felt pressured to find a stable job and a dream romantic relationship.

Oppss! Those were without God’s permission. I was really in a hurry of everything. I was lost again into the wilderness, until I found someone who caught my attention through online dating – still no permission from the Lord.  I even failed to ask advise from any of my Christian friends and family.

Realizing that I have made unwise decisions, I started trying to go back to his presence, but I continued to lose my personal relationship with the Lord because the condemnation was really hunting me. I have poured out all my attention to this man whom I gave my heart, time, effort and all for almost 3 years.

This first week of August 2020, my guilt and my conscience kept knocking into my heart.  I felt very uneasy, knowing in my heart that for a long time, I have done things that are not pleasing before God. My heart was really heavy. I couldn’t even do my work properly.

 

I was bothered.

I realized that there was something missing in my life. I needed the Lord because I was becoming a slave to sin. I keep on sinning and my guilt was really banging into my heart which lead to me being nervous all the time.  I just couldn’t hold it anymore.

I started feeling the heaviness after my birthday last 20th of July. I knew there was something really wrong. I made wrong choices and I kept making it.

I finally called my cousin who was also a Christian and I underwent an admission. I was able to confess everything, and humbly and consciously accept my failure in keeping the Lord’s statutes. I couldn’t hold my tears. I kept on crying as I told my cousin everything about that happened to me in the past 3 years – including how I almost lost my relationship to my cousin. I knew that everything that happened were just so wrong.

And after my admission, I asked for God’s forgiveness. And as if he has always been waiting, I heard God’s voice saying that I needed to let go of the person who was occupying so much of my heart – someone that I valued dearly.

It was hard to accept but I knew I heard God’s voice. I kept on crying while pondering how I could possibly let go of this man whom I love dearly. I even got engaged to him and have planned to get married this year in September. I then knew that it was also God’s intervention to postpone the wedding because of the pandemic. I’ve always known God can use all things for His purpose.

To give you an idea, we are in a long distance relationship. We also had differences in culture and spiritual beliefs that he is not willing to compromise. Having a renewed relationship with the Lord, I myself was also no longer willing to compromise.

I used to keep asking advice on how could handle our relationship, and I am so very grateful that I didn’t hear any negative advice from my family. They respected my decision to stay in that relationship, trusting that we could handle it well. Nevertheless, I still personally know in my heart that I was struggling, especially that there were things that I really couldn’t give him because I knew it was wrong and we were miles away.

I continued to stay in that relationship for a week, while trying to rebuild my personal relationship with the Lord.  We even had a fight because there were things we could never understand and there was also a language barrier.

Before, I chose to stay trying to fit in and understand everything but now, I can’t anymore. Seeing him, I know that he needs someone near him, because I can’t give him the care that he needs physically. He said he is fine but I see him struggling in our situation and it also hurts me.

So with God’s wisdom, I decided to let him go. Yes, I finally got the courage let him go last August 19, 2020. I heard God loud and clear and I was ready to follow Him.

As a Christian, marriage is sacred. Ephesians 4:2-3 says, “ With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.” Our spirit cannot be united because we don’t share the same belief. We were not at peace, I was not at peace.

We needed to ask ourselves before entering into a relationship, “Are you the person you are willing to marry?” and my answer to myself was “No.” We both were not ready. We both have a lot to work on ourselves. We cannot put that responsibility on each other. It has to be between us, individually, and God. God’s words sounded simple, “break up”, “let him go” but it was never easy. It was very painful. It took all of me to let go of the man I love.

It was not as easy as putting a period, end a sentence, start with another and move on. He couldn’t accept it at first. He asked me if I could give him a chance and not to give up on us. He wanted us to grow together but I told him if he really wanted, we should have done it from the very beginning.

It is not only him who is hurting still. Even at this moment, while I am writing this, I can still feel the pain.

But God gave me strength and peace. It was because of God that I was able to push through. I am holding on to 2 Corinthians 12:9 which says, “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  We are both in pain right now but I will continue to pray that God will guide him and if God wills, God saves.

 

I am now in the process of continuing my personal relationship with the Lord.

I am very active in attending bible study with my group leader whom I prayed for and God gave to me. I am also attending the church online for me to grow and intercede, a ministry where my heart is.

Even if I am broken, God still uses me to connect to people. I know God wants to have a personal relationship with them too. Now, I am a bit busy doing group meeting once a week online, through phone calls, or by meeting physically with social distancing.

And this is what I learned: God’s kingdom must continue no matter what season we are going through. All that has happened in the past, I have surrendered them to God, and from now on, I pray that I may live a life that honors  Him. The glory and honor is only for Him not mine.

Because I heard God’s voice and because of His grace, I am able to understand the process of obeying Him no matter what season I am going through. I am also now very happy and at peace continuing to pray for others.

I am now in the process of knowing the Lord more by studying His words for it is the bread of my life and soul.

  • Julpha Jean Olinao –

#GlorytoGod

Big thanks to:
Ate Debra Mae Regino
Kuya Levi Regino
Anna Kristine Obina
Jam Tongao
Rans Egao
Ante Estela Boysillo
Uncle Pastor Eric Boysillo
and my family and friends in Christ.

Praise the Lord!

 

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I am no one but I have a story to tell the world

This is my story

                                “Who I am right now has a story and purpose behind it.” – J.J
As my  dreams start with this;

I am at the point that I am about to give up. I’m losing hope. I don’t know where my hope is.  I do really think that I don’t have any chance to go to college anymore. Just imagine that I am already two years out of school youth. Well, I graduated elementary on time and my high school but sadly, I can’t go to college because my parents cannot afford it. So, after my high school. I stopped for two years. I was just at my Aunt’s house helping her. And then, my heart crashed seeing my batch mates they’ve already graduated college and yeah! They can pursue their dreams.  I do felt that I am left behind.

One time, I cried out to GOD and asked Him that LORD is my life stays like this?  Is this really the end of everything? Is this really Your plan for me? and I said that LORD I do really want to go to college. I wanted to finish it.

Hearing those negative people around me that I’ll just end up married and that’s it nothing else. That’s how the other people always told me before.

After that moment, I felt the HOPE really came  back into my heart because God gave me this verse;
JEREMIAH 29:11
  “ FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU, DECLARES THE LORD, PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE”
Yeeeahh! So, after a few weeks, I started to inquire in CENTRAL MINDANAO UNIVERSITY even though I don’t have any assurance to get in that college. ( It’s my dream school since elementary )

Thank GOD. In the next day, my father called me to come back home because there’s an opportunity for him to work abroad and he will send me to college.

And me like Whaaaattt? LORD Is this true? I cried out to HIM with a grateful heart. It’s really unexpected and I cried with joy in my heart.

Then, I got my entrance exam in CMU sadly, my result is failed but because I do have only 5 points left the Administration put me in as PD students. PD means the administration will be the one to pick your course. ( Anyway, way back in my high school year I passed the entrance examination in CMU but the exam result has only 1-year validity).

Fortunately, the Administration has the right to choose my course and they put me in the FOOD BUSINESS MANAGEMENT  Major in FOOD PROCESSING OPTION.  Well, I am so thankful to GOD because HE did put me in a course where I am really fitted in.

YEhheey! My college starts with full of hope and joy and with the banner of my favorite verse the JEREMIAH 29:11.  Thank you LORD for all the wisdom and knowledge cause I really thought that I can’t understand the lessons anymore because of my stagnant knowledge hehe, but I am very grateful because I always have an ACADEMIC SCHOLAR because of my  very good grades and then it helped to my parents because once you’re an academic scholar your tuition will be less.

Indeed, Our Lord is faithful because in our test permit there’s always a verse of Jeremiah 29:11. Every hope and joy in my heart well, I always passed the examinations.

Very truly our God is always faithful. Yes, He let me graduated on time but not just that also my parents even though they’re far from each other they getting more sweeter and sweeter every day.  ( As they get older they get sweeter ).

Yes, there’s no perfect family but GOD provided us with what we have right now because I know what we have before like when I’m studying during night time I got my eyebrow burned because we’re just using a candle. We don’t have electricity before.

That’s why to my mother and my father. Thank you so much for everything. I may not be a good daughter sometimes but I tried and still, I will try to be one for the both of you. And to my brother even though we’re like cats and dogs but I am here for you. You’re one of the reasons too why I got this far because I want to buy a drum set for you and also a DJ set soon HEhe.

I am very thankful to the people who were part of my journey who helped me and taught me financially, morally, Spiritually, mentally, and physically.  Family, Relatives, Friends, Classmates, Friends of Friends. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I am so grateful to have you all. I can’t mention you all but in my prayers, you are all mentioned but with my prayers is how I can pay for all your goodness. 

I bring back all the glory and honor to GOD.
I graduated college last June 2017.
4 years of endurance.
Do not lose hope.
Nothing is impossible.

 

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Be Sensitive

God’s discipline is painful until you get the point of what’s happening in your life.
Be sensitive.
Grasp the right message.
Get rid of pride and be humble. – jjo

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Find strength in every weakness

Find strength in every weakness

By: Julpha Jean Olinao

‘’ He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds’’ – Psalm 147: 3

Being broken doesn’t mean you failed. It just means that God allows you to be broken because He lifted you from the pit of a wrong relationship. 

A relationship that does not align with God’s purpose and God’s design was not followed.   

I was broken and it’s not easy because it happened during this pandemic. 

Everything was limited and restricted. And I am far from my family then am also a front liner.  

And my question is, am I going to entertain my brokenness? 

But I forgot about it because during my healing process God led me to His presence. 

During this time I am very weak and stressed but I just rested in His presence and trust Him for making me whole again. 

‘’Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong’’ 2 Corinthians 12:10 (NKJV)  

Furthermore, God is a promise keeper as it is written in Matthew 5:34 (NKJV) ‘’ But I say to you, do not swear at all; neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne ’’. Indeed, He made me whole again not by my efforts but by His grace. 

As written, ‘’My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me ’’ 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV) 

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Let’s always ready for the LORD

Is there anything that God is calling you to do?

How do you feel about it? 

Worried? Underqualified? Not prepared? 

Well, let me tell you this. In Jeremiah 1: 5-8 (NKJV) ‘’before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations. Then I said, Ah, Lord GOD! Behold. I cannot speak, for I am youth. But the LORD said to me; Do not say, I am youth. For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces, For I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.’’ 

Is it clear isn’t it?

Once we are called by GOD then that’s it. We cannot give any reason to say no because He is GOD of all. He knows our hearts more than we do. If it’s ready or not. 

Let me give you an example. Most of us when we are in the stage of healing from the brokenness we tend to make ourselves to be alone or to be with family only. Like, have no confidence to spend time with other people. 

But, He is God. He called me to be a disciple leader and to be a prayer leader during my healing stage. Instead of staying in my room and crying all night. He provides people. He provides everything, strength, wisdom, understanding, love, hope, faith, peace, etc. 

He even called me to join this FFEM family. 

As written, ‘’And my GOD shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus’’ Philippians 4:9 (NKJV). 

He knows my heart. 

He knows me and you. 

He knows what we needed. 

He knows everything because He is GOD. 

Moreover, you said yes to God then what’s next? Do we need to strive more in the things that God called us? 

And my answer is Yes! But, let’s not forget who will give an increase. 

It says in, 1 Corinthians 3: 6- 8 (NKJV) ‘’ I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.’’ 

No matter how we strive just don’t forget that it is GOD who gave the increase. He knows when and how to let it be the increase of the things we are called by Him. 

Just remember that ‘’ Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.’’ 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NKJV). 

God is equipping us even though sometimes we are not sensitive about it. 

He is GOD. He can do or called whenever or whatever He wants. 

Let’s not limit our GOD just because our senses or comprehension whispers. 

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Take Heart

My thoughts are running since this past few weeks like I don’t really understand everything.

Where to start, how to handle this, how to do this etc. These are the thoughts that overtaking my peaceful mind.  

So, I’ve cried to God because I can’t handle it anymore.  Crying out to God is my best way of saying that I cannot do anything without Him.

After praying, asking and reading.

Surprisingly, God led me to this verse in Matthew 13:23 and it says that ‘’ But he who received a seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces some hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. ‘’

And I was like okay! This is my time to dig more and understand His word more.

Therefore, I will not allow the enemy to steal everything what God has started and planted in my heart.

And now, take heart! Let’s understand everything seriously and do it consistently.

Glory to God.

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Two choices ” Panic or Pray ”

Learnings from Sunday Service

When we encounter trials and walls of disappointment,

we don’t realize that the best is yet to come.

Moses does what we should all do. He cries out to the Lord instead of protesting he praise.

And that what should hard times lead us to do. – Ptr. Joby Soriano

Two choices ” Panic or Pray ”

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Start ANEW Life With The LORD

As this year started, I asked the LORD how He will going to surprise me in 2021.

Because of my experienced last year, it’s unexpected and worth it.

The seven months of my 2020 is more draining, knowing it all, not listening, negativity, and broken and no personal relationship with the LORD.

It’s not easy anyway because it’s almost three years that I haven’t taken it seriously who God is in my life.

But in those three years, God didn’t stop working in my life.

He is in the business of my life inside in those three years.

Even if I am in that wilderness of life, God didn’t allow me to keep going in that darkness.

And in the next five months, God removed my pride in my heart and plucked out my eyes.

Then, I saw that he is working and a way maker of my life.

And I’ve experienced the love that never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:8)

Because of their prayers, I am healed and back to the LORD wholeheartedly.

I am whole again because of GOD.

And now, I am ready to face the unknown of 2021 because I have God.

Who wants me to start ANEW life that is full of faith, hope and love.

Blessed happy new year.

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Change for the Better

‘ The day you stop changing is the day you stop growing ” – learnings from Sunday service

Let’s change for the better 🙂

Here I come running and I won’t look back.

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